Tough day to be a mom

Thaddeus threw the most hysterical fit today when I went to bible study and was about to drop him off in nursery because Callia would not "let him be the leader" as they walked in. When I addressed it it escalated instead of getting better, so much so that after probably 10 or 15 minutes and two trips to the bathroom to pop him for defiance, and a talk with Callia to tell her how he felt (although I let Callia know I didn't blame her at all for his behavior), her apologizing and saying she didn't mean to upset him, him apologizing to her for expecting her to do what he said, then him continuing to be defiant and thrashing around on the floor, I still had to just leave instead of putting him in the nursery, which prompted Callia to burst into tears as well. The other kids in the nursery and the girl watching them all seemed very concerned. We left with Callia carrying my bible and Thad's jacket so I could try to keep a hold on him and his shoes (which he had kicked off), while he thrashed as hard as he could and screamed at me for leaving his shoes behind, all the way out to the van. I was so frazzled and frustrated I can think in retrospect of a few ways I could have handled it better. I feel like a terrible mother. Just confessing. Also, I feel a little freaked out at the thought that something similar to this could happen again at some point because although he had time alone in his room to calm down when we got home and came out acting like an angel, I don't feel that any lesson was learned. This is one of those days when the title of this blog is hilariously sarcastic, which I knew it would sometimes be, but man, this is to the point where the sarcasm isn't even funny. Being a mother is insanely difficult. Hopefully I don't make any future mistakes that will blow this out of the water and this can go down in my book for my worst moments as a mother, right up there with the times that I forgot Callia's school field trip, and a friend's birthday party that she was looking forward to.