Callia Fell out of Bed

I was laying in bed and heard a thud upstairs, and then silence again. I wondered if Callia had fallen out of bed. I went upstairs to check and sure enough, there she was on the floor. I took Thaddeus so Nathan could go up and look, and he took a picture, too, before putting her back in bed. She never knew what happened.

Shortcomings

I'm praying that the Lord will give me more compassion for my kids. I just don't have enough of it. I can usually act compassionate, but to actually feel it is another matter. I've always been impressed, even as a child, with the amount of compassion my mother had for my sister and I. She really felt (and still does feel) our pain. So often I just feel like "Oh, come on" when Callia is doing something that I deem "silly". But really, what right do I have to set the bar for how "reasonable" she ought to be? She's a three year old, for goodness sakes! I've been wondering for a while what on earth I can do to help her with her issues lately. She is such a wreak, disobedient, frustrated, and impossible to deal with. I've meant to blog about it but hardly knew what to say about it I've been at such a loss for what to do with her. I have a feeling that she can really tell I simply don't feel her pain. I'll be brushing her hair and she'll scream about it hurting and my emotional reaction is annoyance. I think "I'm trying not to pull, what more does she expect of me?" What comes out of my mouth is normally "Sorry", but my tone of voice often says otherwise. I really want what is best for her. I want her to be happy, well balanced and capable. But if I expect that of her, rather than equip her for her own relationship with God, I only push her farther from it by making her feel that my love is conditional. Without the compassion I just can't get anywhere so thats what I'm praying for. I expect God to show me any day, so keep an eye out. Its an act of faith for me to even post this because I feel like "what if he doesn't answer? It'd be embarrassing", but I'm trusting that he will come through, and I don't want to doubt him. Faith without doubt. A new concept I'm trying out. It has been coming up a lot lately for me. It couldn't be coincidence. God wants me to trust him.

Dress in the Dirt

I think this picture really shows something special about Callia--she likes to wear dresses and she likes to play in the dirt. Whenever talking to other people about their kids and what kind of personality their daughters have I can relate to both ends of the spectrum. I have a prissy little thing that loves to wear dresses, her favorite color is pink, she fancies herself a princess, and dances around being pretty. I also have a kid who loves to go outside and run around, dig in the dirt, and play with worms and bugs. And its the same child. Isn't she special? The kick I get from seeing her digging for worms in my soon-to-be-flowerbed while wearing a skirt is even better since she's holding up a little pink lacy parasol with the other hand. I love it.

Worms

Callia might tell you otherwise (I'm not sure what she'd say), but if you asked me what I thought her favorite animal was, I'd tell you it was the worm. And yes, I do mean just the regular old earthworm. Today she was very tired, and we had what I would call an "incident" involving a worm. We were eating lunch outside after church, and Callia was doing her usual thing where she takes half the afternoon to eat her food. I had even stopped in the middle of my meal to nurse Thaddeus a little bit, and still I was done well before her. I went over to a flowerpot I was planning on planting some seeds in, and picked it up so I could empty last year's dirt from it. Covering the stale wet bricks (that hadn't seen the light of day since last fall) were millions of tiny ants. I called Nathan and Callia over to look at the spectacle. Callia noticed an earthworm in the middle of the mess of ants and said so as she was bending over. Then her little hand shot out and before I even realized what she was doing, she had it grasped between her thumb and index finger, and a few ants were crawling around on her wrist. It was disgusting mainly because of where the worm had come from. She has gotten herself bit by some nasty bugs she has picked up in the same area, and without even getting a good look at this worm I told her to put it down and shook it out of her hand. I felt a little bad once I realized it actually was a worm, but her reaction was so over the top. She was wailing as Nathan and I tried to soothe and distract her. We reminded her of the special movie time we were planning on having after lunch, and pointed out how delicious her apple sauce looked, etc. But she just kept wailing and thrashing as I tried to pick her up and set her in her seat. She stood there, with tears rolling down her cheeks, and wailed "But I just LOVE worms!!!!" Nathan and I couldn't help but laugh over her head where she couldn't see us. It was so ridiculous! She loves worms? On a serious note, we really need to start making this little girl take a nap. Here is a picture of her last November 17th, practically in heaven with 17 worms writhing in her hand. The reason I know how many there were is that she laid them out in a line on the table and counted them. You can see me in the background, six and a half months pregnant and working on the bricks, which is where all the worms were found.

Spring is here

It was so warm and beautiful today. Callia, Thad and I went out in the backyard for Callia to play with her bubbles that we bought at the dollar store yesterday, then went for a walk to Hardees for lunch. Callia had a blast and went through almost an entire jar of bubbles. Most of it didn't actually end up as bubbles, but instead was sloshed off the end of the bubble wand onto the bricks. It was serious stuff, though. :) I took a lot of pictures. Thaddeus just sat in his car seat and took in the fresh air. He seemed to enjoy the walk, and sitting in Hardees in his stroller.



She said something funny today while we were getting prepared to go outside. Thaddeus had drifted off to sleep in his car seat and she gave him a big kiss on the cheek, which woke him up, and she said "Look, his eyes are open! We don't have to be quiet anymore!"

A Sweet Moment

Callia has gone to bed, I'm sitting on the couch with the laptop, and Nathan is sitting at his computer playing Civilization IV with Thaddeus in his lap. Thaddeus is making little baby sounds, and Nathan is talking to him. A minute ago he was saying "What do you want? No, I don't think you smell like a hamster! We love our little guy! You're my little guy!" on and on, and he made up a little song to the tune of "If You're Happy and You Know It" that goes like this:

Oh, you jiggle when you hiccup 'cuz you're fat!
You jiggle when you hiccup 'cuz you're fat!
Oh, you jiggle when you hic,
You jiggle when you hic,
You jiggle when you hiccup 'cuz you're fat!

I just had to tell on him because he is so sweet over there spending time with his baby boy. :)

Thaddeus started fussing, which he has been doing a lot the past couple of days, I guess because of a belly ache, and Nathan was saying "What should I do little guy? You're making me sad!" He put him in his swing and turned on the relaxing music and started the mobile above it, said "Hey, cutie!" to him, and got my attention to say, "Look at him! It looks like he's relaxing in there. Like he's stressed, but something is relaxing him. See his face?" Nathan is reminding me of myself right now. I do this with Thaddeus quite often; I can't help it, he's so cute! Its nice to see Nathan doing it, too. Its such a nice thing to just sit and enjoy our baby. He is such a gift. I love moments like these.

Fussy baby!

Well, its a little blurry, but isn't this the cutest fussy face you've ever seen? I'm pretty impressed with his "pity me" technique. What a pro. That's my boy!



But really, most of the time he tries not to cry unless he absolutely can't help himself, which is very endearing. He's a little softy.

Little Early Risers

Time change was on Sunday and I'm still adjusting. It always seems like Callia adjusts before I do, though. This morning Thaddeus woke up at 6:30 to eat, and wasn't ready to go back to sleep afterwards! I just about died since to me it felt like 5:30. Usually he doesn't do that. Callia came in at 7:00, not long after he was done eating, and we had some play time in my bed, just the three of us, since Nathan had left at 5:30 to work in Chevy Chase. I took some pictures. Callia had to be reminded a couple of times that Thaddeus must be respected, and not hit repeatedly with stuffed animals or smothered with "hugs", or buried in toys. It wasn't as constant of an issue as it has been at times lately, though, so we all had a nice time. She was so wound up, and he was watching her off and on. At one point even smiled at her, and she loved it! It was the first time he smiled at her. It was good for her. Luckily for me, after about an hour and a half of play, Callia was ready to watch TV (she brought it up herself), and as I got her some juice and cereal to have while she watched it, Thaddeus fell asleep in my arms. Perfect! So I got to nap for an hour before he woke up to eat again.

Infant Invader!!!

Invader: "Someone who enters by force in order to conquer."

We've been experiencing a little bit of jealousy from Callia over Thad the past few days. Friday I walked out of the room for a couple seconds while Thad was propped up on a pillow on my bed and Callia was sitting on the bed next to him. The next thing I knew he was screaming and I ran in and asked Callia what happened. She said "I don't want to tell you". So we had a little talk about how important it is for her to tell me things that happen etc., and she said in a resigned tone of voice, "Oh, OK.... I saaat on 'im." He stopped crying when I picked him up but by that point his nose was turning red and I asked where she sat on him and she said, very resigned, "On his head", dragging out the last word. I wish I had a recording of the way she said it. It was hard for me not to laugh at her. So I said thank you very much for telling me and gave her a hug and sent her to her room. I told her if she does it again she will get popped because it hurts him and she is not allowed to hurt him. Then yesterday I was going to the store and Nathan stepped out onto the porch to talk to me for a second as I was leaving. When he went back inside he was greeted by essentially the same scene, Thad screaming and Callia looking guilty, and when he asked her what she did she said she sat on him. He did pop her for it. I guess she is just feeling the strain of the reduced amount of attention. She has also been hitting Thaddeus in the face with various items, luckily soft ones like blankets or stuffed animals. And this afternoon she hit Treston over the head with a very large stuffed Doberman (larger than Treston). Not sure how we're going to handle it other than disciplining her for each offense and giving her a little more special hugging and playing time, and trying to be careful about doting over Thaddeus in front of her. She is, after all, just as loved as she was before.

Visit with Mom and Maegen

After going to Thad's appointment I went straight to Warrenton for my own post-partum checkup, and after that I met Mom and Maegen in Gainsville as a last-minute thing. We went shopping at Home Goods, and then Maegen and I went to Panera Bread. Maegen just got a mocha, because she had already had lunch, but Callia and I ate. We hung out there until almost dinner time, and I got home after Nathan by quite a while! Its a horribly long drive back to Fredericksburg from Gainsville. Callia and Treston had a blast together. They made so much noise we had to leave, which was a good thing, since we had lost track of time so badly. We talked about needing to go to a more play-friendly place next time, to save ourselves the embarrassment of having our kids running wild around the cozy fireplace in the "relaxing" restaurant! Treston wasn't actually running, but he is walking around holding onto things, like the highchair, and the leather armchair that was in front of the fireplace (which had a wide hearth and a screen in front of it so no chance of him getting burned).

One Month Check up

This morning I took Thaddeus in for his one month well-baby doctor visit. He weighed in at 11 pounds, 5 ounces. I'm not really sure what he would normally expect, but Dr. Aaronson seemed very impressed with his weight gain. He said "Thats like 2 ounces a day!"

He got his second Hepatitis B shot today, in his left thigh. Poor baby :( He cried like he was betrayed, but only for a half a minute. He's so sweet. :)

He has had an eye infection for a couple of weeks and Dr. Aaronson gave me a prescription to clear that up. I had done some research on the internet on infant eye infections and suspected he had a clogged tear duct, since even before the infection, his tears would run down his face. And yes, the doctor said I was right. He said if it doesn't right itself by six months of age we'll have to talk about doing something about it.

He also has thrush, which I also pointed out to the doctor. I noticed a while back that his tongue is white, and thought it was milk residue, but in my internet reading I came across something about thrush. Sure enough, thats what Thad has in his mouth, on his tongue, and inside his left cheek. I hadn't noticed it in the cheek. But then again I didn't have a tongue depressor and a flashlight like the doctor did! It turns out the thrush, which is an overgrowth of yeast, is an explanation for the extreme pain I was having breastfeeding a couple of weeks ago. So we got a prescription for that, too. Some sort of ointment or something to rub on it. Dr. Carisio (OB/GYN) said I can use it on myself, too, and if it doesn't work I can call her back and get a pill for it.

The Sound of Mommy's Voice

Tonight Thad was crying in the car and quieted down when I started talking to him soothingly. He hasn't responded to my voice like that before. It sure made me feel good!

First Smile

Thaddeus smiled at me for the first time today! I told my mom about it and she said he smiled at her yesterday! So Mom got the first smile and didn't even know it. He has been smiling in his sleep for about a week and the other day he even gave a little chuckle (oh, melt my heart!), but I don't really feel like it counts as a first smile if he's not even conscious. I dunno, call me silly. Anyway, today he was laying on Callia's bed while I packed her suitcase to go to MeMaw's house, so I was chatting with her and he was largely being ignored. When we were done I went over and picked him up and smiled down at those bright eyes and he smiled back. He couldn't have given me a sweeter gift.