Shortcomings

I'm praying that the Lord will give me more compassion for my kids. I just don't have enough of it. I can usually act compassionate, but to actually feel it is another matter. I've always been impressed, even as a child, with the amount of compassion my mother had for my sister and I. She really felt (and still does feel) our pain. So often I just feel like "Oh, come on" when Callia is doing something that I deem "silly". But really, what right do I have to set the bar for how "reasonable" she ought to be? She's a three year old, for goodness sakes! I've been wondering for a while what on earth I can do to help her with her issues lately. She is such a wreak, disobedient, frustrated, and impossible to deal with. I've meant to blog about it but hardly knew what to say about it I've been at such a loss for what to do with her. I have a feeling that she can really tell I simply don't feel her pain. I'll be brushing her hair and she'll scream about it hurting and my emotional reaction is annoyance. I think "I'm trying not to pull, what more does she expect of me?" What comes out of my mouth is normally "Sorry", but my tone of voice often says otherwise. I really want what is best for her. I want her to be happy, well balanced and capable. But if I expect that of her, rather than equip her for her own relationship with God, I only push her farther from it by making her feel that my love is conditional. Without the compassion I just can't get anywhere so thats what I'm praying for. I expect God to show me any day, so keep an eye out. Its an act of faith for me to even post this because I feel like "what if he doesn't answer? It'd be embarrassing", but I'm trusting that he will come through, and I don't want to doubt him. Faith without doubt. A new concept I'm trying out. It has been coming up a lot lately for me. It couldn't be coincidence. God wants me to trust him.